I have thought about writing this down for sometime but I have struggled with if I should or not because well... you will know why after.
I am so addicted to watching the biggest loser! So motivational and inspiring and... Makes you want work out instead of sitting on your duff for two hours watching the show. The biggest loser also makes me cry.. Tear up every show! With out fail..anyone else with me?!?! 🙋🏻 If your not watching you might not have any idea what I am talking about. An episode recently aired with Rob and Sarah ( father/ daughter team) Sarah was telling her father that he was her Hero. Rob stood there. Bob then told Rob "do you hear what she is saying"? "You are her hero" Rob started to cry and was in disbelief... This really hit home for me because I remember being 5 or 6 and I did some project or drawing and I wrote that my dad was my hero.
Flash forward 25 years to me watching this episode of Biggest loser... I am balling! Crying my eyes out. I have spent the majority of my life telling myself. Making myself believe that not having my father active in my day to day life growing up has NOT affected me. Crazy, right? Everything in your life affects you in some way shape or form. It has taken me until recently for me to look back and realize.
Two weeks ago my oldest had grandparents day at her school. She had a blast and loved it!! What she said to me when we got home left me heart broken. She said "hey mom do you know some people have two grandpas?" She looked at me like it was such a crazy concept, I had no idea what to say to her so I just looked at her and said "yes I know."
Now without telling my whole life story basically my father is not some bad guy, he always sent us birthday cards for me or my kids. He lives fairly close to us and is around. I wanted to write this down so I didn't forget him being absent has affected me, not only me but my kids. Who don't know him like the other grandparents. Breaks my heart. My oldest is about the age right now when my parents got divorced or spilt up. I try to block things out and not ask to many questions. I basically want to leave you with this. If you are a father or mother of a child , girl or boy. You not being there will affect them.
Lots of love,
Steph
