I just knew...

     Since I have made the transition to a new job fairly recently people that I work with are surprised when I tell them I have 3 kids, they are then shocked again when I tell them their ages, their eyes get all big and then something along the lines of "you have your hands full" or "how do you work full time and have 3 kids" or  some other sort of crazy thing.  Yes, my hands are full and yes there are days that are hard and I have no sleep, etc etc etc... Well let me back the story up a bit...


    I remember sitting on my bed shortly after brooklynn was born telling my husband I knew I was not done having kids.. The look on his face ... Ha ha he looked at me like I was crazy!  (Maybe a little). All the hormones after having a baby make a girl a little crazy...But I remember feeling that there was this son I was supposed to have and I was so upset that I could never meet him. I remembered praying (not for a son) but for The Lord to make peace in my heart if I was supposed to be done having children because we (Jacob and I) never really thought we would have three kids.

    Jacob had made peace within himself that he was to have these two sweet healthy girls and that was all.... I would even ask friends that have several kids how do you know when you are done? Aren't you sad that you won't have anymore babies?!? I just didn't understand.

I remember crying/praying  a lot for peace in my heart to not want anymore children or for Jacob to be onboard with his crazy wife and walk the path of parents of three children.... We all know how this story ends up, but what you don't know is that internally i knew i was having a boy and I even spelled out his name with letter blocks in the nursery before we knew the third baby was a boy(via ultrasound) I knew Tyler was supposed to be here... To be my son!  I am so grateful that once I had him The Lord blessed me with peace in my heart. I have no desire for more children, I am so blessed for the ones I've got!!!